Revisions and Editing of Policy/Proposal Paper

Paper Thesis: Although Occupy participants around the country have the right to demonstrate on public property, they must also do so in accordance to State laws and regulations. The "Occupy Wall Street" movement has broken legal boundaries in the past months, and this is also true with the Occupy Columbia group.

Concerns for the reviser-> My topic requires much research and information such as state laws and regulations, and these were hard to come by. My only real concern for this paper is if I have adamant evidence for my argument.

In Class Writing11/22/11

I. One policy/issue on campus that I believe needs reforming is the notorious parking issue, which has been an object of students' woes for years. Paying for a seasonal parking pass to park near the Colliseum is very inefficient; parking spaces are rarely available past 9 am and the lot is pretty far from USC campus. In order to make it to class, students must take the bus to the Horseshoe (or other stops), and then proceed to walk to class. I think a policy that can be reformed is limiting the amount of parking passes that are issued so the lot will always have enough parking spaces for a certain amount of students. For others, I believe it is important that the School invest in more space for student parking. As a commuter, parking can be an extremely frustrating task and can actually hinder my ability to make it to class. It is very expensive to park in the Discovery Garage (or other garages), especially considering a student's budget.

II.  Perspectives for my exploratory paper:
1. A participant and active sympathizer of the Occupy Movement
2. A sympathizing citizen; non participant
3. A critic of the protest; often Government Official or concerned citizen
4. A citizen that is negatively impacted by the protests

The dominant perspective in the current state of things is probably the participant and active sympathizer of the Occupy movement. This is particularly so because the movement has gained widespread popularity in the recent months, and there are many famous figures that also support the movement. Although there is an increasing number of critics of the protests, it seems that youth are often attracted to the Occupy message. I agree with critical view of the protests, and believe that they will eventually prevail over other views.

"Chicken In The Henhouse"

       David Sedaris delivers a purely sarcastic story in "Chicken In The Henhouse" to ridicule public conceptions about homosexuality, especially targeting a woman named Audrey who offered a more radical perspective on a "local talk show". The story is actually so serious that it seems like it is actually written through the perspective of a child molester, however; through further analysis of the text it becomes obvious that Sedaris seeks to ridicule the public in their belief that homosexuals seek to target our nations youth. He uses himself as a prime example in the story, characterizing himself as a sweaty gay man, standing next to a fashionable 10 year old in the elevator. Although he might actually appear to be the boy's father, Sedaris puts emphasis on the fact that because he is a homosexual, people would think negatively about his actions in the kid's aid. He also characterizes himself as wanting to touch the boy (as well as other people on the plane) in order to further ridicule Audrey's comments about the nature of homosexuals. Along with his humorous musings, Sedaris delivers a more serious message in the story, saying that "yes, I am a homosexual; yes, I am soaking wet; yes, sometimes I feel an urge to touch people's heads, but still I can safely see a ten-year-old back to his room". Sedaris' use of humor is more effective than using anger or indignation to reflect his views because I believe his wittiness and story-telling invokes the audiences emotions and sympathy rather than starting an angry debate that would do little to help people understand his views.

In Class Response 11/15

1. Between Thursday and today, I was able to edit some grammatical mistakes and ensure the cohesiveness of the essay through further analysis of my essay's structure. The strongest element of my paper is probably the evidence I provide, as well as my clear cut explanation of each view on the issue. I am concerned about whether I provided too much detail instead of making a clear argument, however, this type of essay is new to me and I believe I adhered to the assignment as best as I could.

2. For my fourth essay, I plan to probably write a Policy paper arguing for the inadequacy of the Wall Street Protesters' conduct, as well as for a change in laws regarding the ability of people to protest. I think that I have done plenty of research and have adecuate research for the new essay. I might want to look back through the news to see if there have been any new developments in the area.

Types of Arguments: Definitions

• Causal- an argument that asserts that there is a distinct relationship between two events, and one happened as a result of the other. X causes Y because...
• Resemblance- when the author asserts the resemblance of two issues or arguments. X is similar to Y because...
• Definitional- an argument that disputes or confirms the validity of a definition based on a certain criteria, situations. X is really Y because it meets the criteria of Y
• Evaluation- tries to convince the reader that the criteria that a writer uses to evaluate a situation is appropriate, therefore the evaluation is correct. X is a good or bad Y
• Proposal/Policy- Policy: X should not be in place; Proposal: X should be done in steps A,B,C
• Argues for an change in something, providing evidence. Proposals offers a change in policy following certain steps/guidelines
• Ethical

In Class Writing Assignment 11/1/11

The problem is that there are thousands of people protesting in over 70 major US cities against the current state of the Government, and this movement has inspired people in over 900 cities worldwide to adopt similar protests.

It is important because it clearly shows the unrest and frustration of many over social and political inequalities in our country. Although protests are not uncommon, this one has struck much interest by the media and has inspired similar movements around the world.

The people affected are an apparent variety of people. Anybody and everybody who is unhappy with the inequality of wealth and state of affairs in our country can show up to protest at any of the hundreds of locations.

People might disagree that this movement holds any sort of importance. Others might think that such a movement can be influential enough to start a revolution. We have already seen instances of violence in certain occupy areas, and this movement has the potential to become very violent.

Occupy Wall Street: Two Sources

http://www.occupytogether.com
This is the webpage of the ongoing "Occupy Wall Street" movement that has spread around the country in recent months. It is a good source to use in my research on the Occupy movement because it is the group's official page, and contains the opinions and projections of the public at large. There is ultimately no better way to understand the concerns of the movement than reading about them first-hand. Although the web page will obviously contain much bias, it will be crucial in obtaining information about the movement.

http://occupywallst.org/
This is another webpage of the "Occupy Wall Street" movement, however an unofficial one. Similar to the occupy together page, this site will provide me with more opinions and links to other pages that have opinions about the movement firsthand. Although this source will also contain a considerate level of bias, it will provide me with a considerable amount of information.

Response to Onion News Article

(1.) This article, which comes from a completely false and satirical news source, aims to ridicule the inability and/or unwillingness  of Americans to spend time reading anything. The message builds on former Carolina Reader articles we have read which state that with technological progress, people are more and more unable to concentrate. Essentially, this article makes the point that Americans will only read something if there is a large attractive photo or a boldface font to accompany it.

(2.) As in all other Onion articles, the author employs the use of hyperbole to make this article witty and to convey his point. Although Americans don't usually spend much time reading, it would be a huge exaggeration to say that if there was a "large block of uninterrupted text", then people would be extremely troubled by it. If the message was important enough, you would think that anybody would take their time to read it.

Response to "Why Factory Farms Threaten Your Health"

       To me, this article is quite unique. People have a set conception that is delivered by the media and radical vegetarians that factory farm meat is unhealthy, but choose to ignore it. But this article, written by John Robbins, presents an even bigger issue that raises questions and concerns that are way deeper than simply "it's unhealthy to eat chemical and growth hormone infused meat". According to a vast majority of Health experts, the antibiotics that farmers put in animal feed are among the 70% that are withheld from human use. Recent studies show that the introduction of these antibiotics to human bodies allows for bacteria to evolve and surpass the antibiotic effect. This is troubling, and it is particularly mind-boggling to learn that "Seventy percent of all health-care related infections in the U.S. are resistant to at least one antibiotic, Murphy said, which already costs the nation's health care system $50 billion a year..." and "one antibiotic resistant infection, MRSA (methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus), now kills more Americans each year than HIV-AIDS." 
       I've never even heard of this issue in antibiotics--and I read the news almost every day! If all of this is true, then America needs to hear more about it. I'm honestly curious to how the intake of meat is affecting my OWN ability to fight bacteria. 

Puff Culture: How American Cigarette Advertising Has Changed Over the Decades to Appeal to the Modern Audience

Clark had spent the last four hours on his feet. His hair slicked back and dress shirt unbuttoned half-way down his chest, he had managed to balance a glass of Jim Beam and Pop while he danced the night away. After the last Buddy Holly song was over, Clark leaned up against the wall and surveyed the room. After an odd minute, he had succeeded in catching the glimpse of Ella’s beautiful blue eyes. With poised fingers, he motioned for her to abandon her place on the leather couch and follow him to the balcony—which was now empty. As the pair embraced each other, Clark pulled a fancy red container from his pocket, and emptied the contents into his palm. “Pall Mall” read two finely-roled cigarettes. Ella leaned back into the warmth of his arms, as smoke slowly seeped out of their mouths into the crisp October night air. As Clark played with a lock of Ella’s dazzling blonde hair, he flicked a speck of cigarette ash over the ledge. Life couldn’t possibly be any sweeter.

            Seems like the stereotypical 1950’s cigarette commercial, huh? Although this gem was never an actual advertisement, it embodies the classic marketing strategy that caused so many people to take up smoking. Throughout the years, cigarette use has been a very common activity. The 20^th century always saw Jonny Cash and Keith Richards with a lit cigarette in their mouths, and our generation sees the likes of Jonny Depp and Jay Lo walking around with a little white cylinder dangling. When you think cigarette, you might imagine a French model smoking from a fancy white “Cruella de Vil” extension, or perhaps a guy on a Harley-Davidson wearing a sleek leather jacket holding a pack of Marlboro Reds. But cigarettes have become so prevalent that you see college students heaving in the next dose of nicotine on their way to class. Whatever the generation, advertising strategies like the one above have influenced people of all ages to indulge in the little white tobacco-filled tube. Although modern times have exposed the health risks of smoking to the public, it appears that even the strongest of anti-tobacco protests have failed to completely eliminate cigarette use.

            Although the consistency of cigarettes has seen very few changes, marketing strategies have evolved greatly throughout the years to appeal to a changing audience. Our generation has become increasingly aware of the dangers of cigarette additives, and anti-smoking Television commercials show shocking images of cancer survivors having to speak through a robotic simulated voice. To better understand what kind of advertising tactics cigarette companies have employed throughout the years, we’re going to take a look at two popular advertisements; an old 1953 Pall Mall advertisement, and a 2007 American Spirit promotion.

            After taking a look at the Pall Mall poster, it sure doesn’t look like a scene from the PGA tour. For one, those golfers look far more interested in their cigarettes than in golfing. And that’s not Tiger Woods you see there in the drawing—and if it was, well…he sure would have a bad taste in cigarettes.  But to a person in the 1950’s, this poster was probably a depiction of a great time on the golf course. The people depicted are neatly-groomed and Caucasian, and their expensive golfing attire suggests that this ad was targeted at a wealthier audience. Aside from this detailed drawing, there are some aspects of the poster that really jump out at you. Firstly, the poster designer uses bold, red font to outline slogans/catchphrases as well as vivid illustrations to capture the reader’s attention. In addition, the simplistic way the slogans and descriptions are worded makes the product seem much more appealing.

"Discover a Smoothness, Mildness, and Satisfaction No Other Cigarette Offers You…There is no substitute for Pall Mall--the finest quality money can buy…The cigarette that changed America's smoking habits". What strikes you in this conglomeration of advertising slogans? Perhaps for the modern audience, nothing at all. Its just another advertising scheme for a cigarette brand that is trying to popularize itself in the market among dozens of other cigarette brands. Without proof, how could we possibly know that Pall Mall cigarettes are truly mild, smooth, and satisfying? Perhaps in the 1950’s, when smoking was as commonplace as chewing gum, you would just have to give the little red pack a try. Through the descriptions on the poster, Pall Mall is trying to infer that they are the best cigarette brand out there. I mean, look at the drawing. Don’t those golfers look amazed by the product? And the classy bold font against the Pall Mall-red background definitely catches the reader’s eye. For all you smokers out there—have you ever smoked a cigarette that had you coughing up hairballs and burned out too quickly? Smoking Pall Mall cigarettes will give you the ultimate smoking experience; irritation free, and maybe even cancer free. After all, these cigarettes are the finest money can buy—and I don’t see any surgeon’s warning on that poster.

Our generation is becoming increasingly green-minded. Although we’re not ready to give up our gas-guzzling tanks quite yet, technological advances along with a focus on climate mitigation has brought upon a movement that encourages people to decrease their carbon footprint. Many appliances you buy nowadays come with an energy star rating, college campuses are starting to rebuild in accordance with LEDA standards, and the government is offering monetary incentives to trade in your inefficient vehicle for a compact fuel economy rock star. And American Spirit, a cigarette company that is just now becoming popular (especially among hipsters) offers further green incentive to switch your tobacco loyalties. Written on the poster in tobacco-colored letters says “ITS ONLY NATURAL.” It’s the first thing you see when you look at the poster, and honestly it summarizes the entirety of it. American Spirit says the reason it is better is because their offices are run on wind power, and their growing practices are environmentally-friendly and organic. This differs from the more common advertisement in that it targets a certain audience—a modern audience that is aware of our changing planet. And switching to American Spirit can seem like a no-brainer; if you’re going to smoke, you might as well smoke something that is chemical-free and leaves a smaller impact on our world. And if you’re 21 years of age, you can get up to $20 dollars’ worth of gift certificates—that’s 4 free packs of cigarettes (for all you non-smokers).

An aspect of advertising not to overlook is the presentation of the cigarettes themselves; their packaging, and their look. The Pall Mall container has an extremely genuine design, with a majestic-looking crest that has crowned Lions and a suit of armor on it, the latin phrase “In Hoc Signo Vinces” (which Wikipedia tells me is the expression Constantine used when he decided to bear the Cross), and the unmistakable white lettering with cherry red background. Presentation is everything, and I think the brand presents a very classy design. By the cross alone, the brand could easily be mistaken for a noble family instead of a cigarette brand. American Spirit comes in a variety of compact colored containers, depending on the type of tobacco you prefer. Their greatest appeal, however, is their Native American symbol. A muscular-looking Indian is presented wearing a headdress and smoking a massive cigarette, silhouetted by a beautiful rising sun. Living on a continent that was once exclusively populated by Native Americans, it is extremely uncommon to see one of these guys walking around (especially in Native garb). Rather ironically, American settlers oppressed Native Americans and forced them onto reservations, but nowadays, there is a nostalgic feeling associated with our Tomahawk-wielding friends. Throughout the years, there have been a number of movies and novels about the old civilization that have peaked our imagination. I know for a fact that I dressed up as an ‘Indian Chief’ for Halloween one year, and I consider “The Last of the Mohicans” to be one of the best movies ever made.

The American Spirit promotion differs greatly from the 1953 Pall Mall ad in that there is a standard surgeon’s general warning included at the bottom. Nearly sixty years after Pall Mall popularized their brand, we are now aware that smoking is bad for our health. But if you look at the matter in black and white, some people just aren’t ready to give up their tobacco—and this factor may never change. If you’ve ever been a smoker, you know that Pall Mall cigarettes are cheap to buy and are revolting in taste. But on the other side, American Spirit cigarettes are over-priced and (in my opinion) too strong in taste.

But there you have it, readers of Whatever magazine—the advertising strategies of two world-famous cigarette brands dissected in a nut shell. Please remember that by no means am I encouraging the use of cigarettes. In fact, smoking has become a huge problem among America’s youth, and it really makes me wonder about the severity of lung, mouth, and throat problems that many will experience in the near future. If you have any comments or questions regarding this article, please send me an email or catch me at my guest lecture next week. Its…whatever!

Fear Factories Response

       Matthew Scully takes an alternative perspective on animal cruelty and factory farming to appeal to the conservative crowd. A self-proclaimed conservative, Scully begins the article by saying that he at first saw the factory farming issue as a very minor problem. He says that PETA activists and other prominent animal rights groups have the viewpoint that human beings have an obligation to treat animals humanely. The author makes the argument that this is incorrect, and is objectionable especially by a religious and conservative crowd. Instead, Scully makes the point that "Human beings in their moral progress learn to appraise things correctly, using reasoned moral judgment to perceive a prior order not of our devising" (110). In other words, it is not our obligation to treat animals humanely. But many conservatives simply ignore the issue, as the one conservative who told the author "I don't want to know". It is instead just and charitable for us to treat animals fairly; human kind is kind by nature, and it is only right to direct our altruism and compassion to animals as well as other human beings.

Proposed Advertisement Analysis

I would like to analyze the discrepancies between two advertisements for major cigarette brands; American Spirit and Pall Mall. The images are from different time periods; the Pall Mall cigarette ad is from 1953, while the American Spirit ad is a recent one featured in several mainstream magazines such as “Rolling Stone”.  Although I am unsure where the Pall Mall ad was originally featured, I imagine that it could have been posted in a popular magazine as well. I own an original copy of this advertisement, and I actually have it framed on my wall. It would probably be good to find a modern Pall Mall ad to compare the antique one to, however; Pall Mall reached its peak in the 1960’s, and is not a popular cigarette nowadays—there was no good modern advertisement that would possibly compare. The American Spirit advertisement is similar to the antique Pall Mall one in that they both use false, unsubstantiated logic in their descriptions.

The Pall Mall ad is unique in that it is more artful and makes the claim that Pall Mall cigarettes are smoother and milder. The poster depicts upper class golfers joyfully offering each other cigarettes, as well as a sophisticated looking gentleman surveying the cigarette in his hand followed by biased descriptions of the smoking experience. The font is bold and professional looking, and the red theme of the poster contrasts greatly with the black and white drawings. I also find the American Spirit advertisement to be unique in that it appeals to the modern audience by presenting their cigarettes as organic and environmentally friendly. There are images of “natural” things depicted on the poster such as renewable wind turbines and sunflowers, and the mascot of the brand (a Native American) also gives the audience a feeling of the purity and naturalness of the product. The strategies used in marketing both brands are quite different, and also reflect the values of the audience in each respective time period. 

My Post Secret Card

       The "post secret" card I made had a picture of Don Draper from the popular show "Mad Men" with the words "Who am I anyway?" written in red sparkly letters surrounding his face. Although only Mad Men viewers would truly understand the significance of this card, I believe anybody could gain a certain understanding of the meaning. The man depicted is a confidant business man with his hair perfectly groomed, a calm expression on his face, wearing an expensive business suit. The written phrase implies that Don Draper is undergoing a crisis of identity- perhaps he does not enjoy his occupation, or he is his hiding his true identity.
       In the show, Donald Draper is one of the most successful business men in America. He is a partner of a innovative advertising agency, has dozens of employees at his command, has a seemingly perfect family and lavish home, and has the finest liquor and cigarettes always in stock in his office. Although it appears to the viewer that Don Draper has the perfect balanced life, it is not actually so. He is unhappy with his marriage and has many sexual encounters with other women (and often his clients), he is unable to devote equivalent attention to his children and family as he does to his job, and we later come to find out that his past is different than it appears. His father was an adulterer and impregnated a prostitute (his mother), his step mother hated him growing up, he was given a purple heart in combat as a result of an accident he caused, and following the war, he changed his identity to start his life from a clean slate.
       The bold red words and their placement around Don Draper's sullen face provides a bold suggestion that he  is undergoing an identity crisis. The broken pocket watch in the top right hand corner is an indication that Draper is lost in time, and is unable to find himself.

Magazine Ad 3

Source: http://www.treehugger.com/wwf-ad-fish-head.jpg

Target Audience: all Americans, particularly those that are ignorant about climate change and its looming dangers to human kind.

Product: An opportunity to save the planet/our lifestyle

The reader needs to take become informed about the affects of climate change, and therefore become more involved in climate mitigation. It is implied that if the reader does not help create change in America, then human kind will evolve to a hotter earth taken up mostly by the ocean. Human appearance will become more fish/amphibian-like, as our lives will probably involve living in/around the water. The strategy used is to shock the reader- nobody wants to look like this guy (fish).

Magazine Ad 2

Source 1: http://officeroom.org/uploads/posts/2010-07/1279833104_s16.jpg
Target Audience: recently married young women/homemakers who are presented with the task of impressing their man with a great meal.

Product: Schlitz Beer

The consumer, particularly younger married women, need to purchase Schlitz beer for their man in order to either offset a poorly-cooked meal, or just make them happy in general. As a result of purchasing Schlitz beer, poor cooking skills can be offset with the availability of a refreshing cold beer.

Magazine Ad 1

Source 1: http://azharkamar.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/funny-ads-braun-2.jpg

Target Audience: All males, particularly older men who need to shave regularly/trim hair and keep up with their appearance.

Product: Braun hair trimmer

The consumer needs the Braun hair trimmer to go from having a horrendous hairstyle to a well-kept hairdo. The product will bring out the "human" in every man, and make him look handsome and confidant- even in older age. As a result of purchasing the Braun trimmer, every man will be able to tremendously transform their appearance.

Peter Menzel: Food Around The World

     On Peter Menzel's online gallery, his section on food aims to enlighten the world about foreign eating habits. Just by looking at the differences portrayed between an American family's weeks worth of food and that of an African family, it is very saddening to see the meager amounts of food some people have to eat. Some of the pictures of foreign delicacies such as marinated grasshopper are meant to shock the audience, and show the interesting tendencies of foreign cultures. Although I am an American, it was shocking to see the food choices of the American choices. It seemed that some lower class families abroad had healthier meals than people that could afford to eat lavishly.

A criticism of Wrangham's "Catching Fire: How Cooking Made Us Human"

     Although there is a general consensus that Richard Wrangham delivers a well-written analysis of human eating habits over the years, I did find one thorough criticism of his book that was written on Amazon by "JDT" in Anchorage. JDT claims that Wrangham's claim that "'we [humans] fare poorly on raw diets' (p. 53) are rife with bad science and logical fallacies, and he does not substantiate his claim."
     JDT demonstrates two particular instances where Wrangham's research falls short. In his first attack on raw foodists, Wrangham writes about a study  done where nine unhealthy participants were put on a raw food diet for only 12 days, and they saw unhealthy decreases in weight as well as bad balances of cholesterol and blood pressure. JDT points out that the evidence is ridiculous considering the participants were unhealthy to begin from, and the diet lasted for only 12 days- very little time to collect any sufficient evidence. In Wrangham's second study, scientists ran a study of 513 people in Germany. In their transition to raw food, they lost an average of 21.9 pounds, and "scientists thus concluded that 'a strict raw food diet cannot guarantee an adequate energy supply.' JDT suggests this study is too broad- each of these 513 people undoubtedly had different diets, and it is unclear what outside factors affected their weight loss.

Source: http://www.amazon.com/Catching-Fire-Cooking-Made-Human/product-reviews/0465013627/ref=cm_cr_dp_all_summary?ie=UTF8&showViewpoints=1&sortBy=bySubmissionDateDescending

Dorm-Dwellers and "The Pleasures of Eating": A Revised List

1. Participate in food production to the extent that you can. Although living in a dormitory limits your ability to grow food, there are still things you can do to overcome your lack of space. Herbs such as basil and rosemary are easy to grow, and are compact enough to fit into your dorm room. Perhaps try to ask the college to permit students to have plots to grow their own food (if available). Any opportunity for a "green initiative" makes an institution look good.
2. Prepare your own food. Purchase a smaller meal plan, and make use of communal kitchens to cook your own food. You will be healthier, your food will taste better, and you should encourage other students to do the same.
3. Learn the origins of the food you buy AND the food that is served to you in the cafeteria. Schools should be encouraged to incorporate local produce into their food, to keep students healthy and support the local economy.
4. Learn everything you can about the food economy and the technology of industrial food production. You may not know what you are putting into your body. On average, food travels 1500 miles to make it to your table. Eating locally would also lessen fossil fuel impact on the earth.
5. Learn what you can about nutrition. Most students eat whatever sounds good, not is good. You might suffer from it in the future...for example; did you know your body can no longer digest milk fats? All that excess milk you drink stores deposits of calcium in your joints, contributing to arthritis later in life.

Richard Wrangham: How Cooking Makes Us Who We Are

     In this interview, Richard Wrangham discusses the discrepancies of modern homo sapiens and early apes/human ancestors. Because the author now dedicates his life to research the evolution of eating habits and cooking in particular, he makes some connections between the identity of human beings and our use of fire to cook foods.
     Although it is unclear when or why human beings adopted the practice of cooking, the author states that he believes our species started using fire about 1.9 million years ago. It is a known fact that earlier humans had different bodies- they were smaller, and had smaller brains. Wrangham attributes this to their need for energy to digest raw foods, and therefore lack of "expensive organs" such as the human brain. Cooking food makes it easier to eat and digest, and increases our caloric intake. The author makes the observation that humans travel much farther than apes, justifying our need for fast calories. The implications of cooking also created a need for social structure. Males expected women to provide food for them at all times, and in return, protected women from being harassed by other males.

Some questions and concerns for the reviewer:

• Does my essay have a concrete working thesis?
• Do I address all the points that I offer in my introduction?
• Are the quotations I take from the essay explained thoroughly, and reasonably?
• Do I address the author's use of logos, ethos, and pathos?
• Am I using too many opinionated statements, or do I provide enough evidence to support my claims?
• Is my conclusion too long/drawn out, or does it give an accurate summary/ending to the essay?
• Is the formatting of my essay correct, in accordance with MLA guidelines?

Formal Outline

The Story Of A Snitch: the unwillingness of the ‘Civilian’ to testify

Thesis: In Baltimore and in surrounding suburbs, it has become increasingly difficult for authorities to unfold crimes and persecute suspects due to an unwillingness of the community to come forward as witnesses. Jeremy Kahn, the author of “The Story Of A Snitch”, connects this enigma to witness intimidation and perceived danger. Through his detailed analysis of prominent cases, interviews of Baltimore residents, and the perspective of the trials and tribulations of John Dowery Jr., Kahn is able to bring the issue to the public’s view and suggest an issue of ethics in the response of the public to violent crime in their neighborhood. The author specifically uses pertinent colloquialisms, detailed narration and lavish descriptions, and a seemingly neutral presentation of evidence to convince the reader of the significance of the issue.

I.                   Word choice always plays an important role in appealing to a perceived audience. In this article, the author includes terms and phrases that are commonly used on “the street” to appeal to the audience’s pathos.

a.       Specific words used

b.      “Snitches and rats” / underground DVD

II.                “Only the skilled hands of the surgeons at Johns Hopkins spared his life” (56).

a.       The use of narration to appeal to peak the interest of the audience

b.      Phrases Kahn uses that are instrumental in delivering the argument

                                                              i.      i.e. “climate of fear,” “culture of silence,” “double standard,” etc.

III.             The author uses a more neutral perspective to relay his argument to the audience. Instead of taking a strong biased position, he effectively uses evidence to convince the reader.

"The Story of A Snitch"; a brief Rhetorical Analysis

       I believe that "The Story Of A Snitch" by Jeremy Kahn would be a fascinating article to use for my rhetorical analysis essay. This is especially because I like Kahn's writing style and use similar methods when I write articles and essays. Through this article, Kahn thoroughly depicts a component of American society that is rarely talked about. In lower class communities, where crimes such as the distribution of drugs and theft are common, treason committed to any member of the community is considered a huge transgression. The author depicts the case of John Dowery Jr., who decided to "snitch" and testify against two men who had murdered one of his friends.
       Because this case depicts extreme lawlessness, it makes it an interesting topic to mainland America. Not only does Kahn's raises issues of ethics in the case of the law, but also in gang culture. Kahn builds his argument through his use of narration, his depiction of the life of Dowery, his effective use of first-hand interviews, and a broader analysis of the issue by including the part about the video "Stop Fuckin Snitching". Because middle and upper class America have very little outside perspective on the issue, Dowery does a great job of placing the reader in Dowery's shoes and sympathizing with a criminal. In addition, the author uses a broad spectrum of diction to make his narrations more appealing, as well as explains some colloquialisms to make the story more understandable.
       The author establishes ethos through his vested interest in the matter, how much evidence he provides on the issue, and lastly through being an established author; writing for many sources including Newsweek International, The New York Times, The New Republic, Slate, and the Atlantic (my personal favorite). Although the author does not make any bold claims in this article, he establishes Pathos through his effective story-telling abilities; allowing for the audience to make their own judgement on the issue. I believe the overall message that Kahn is trying to deliver to upper-class America is that violence and lawlessness in "the hood" is increasingly becoming a problem, with the use of technology such as film and a widespread mentality that reporting violent crimes would be an act of treason, i.e. "snitching". I would even go on to make the claim that Kahn avoids making any objective argument on the issue due to the sensitivity of the information he reveals, including names. I believe that although Kahn relays these issues to mainland America, he himself is afraid to say what is "right" or "wrong" because he is afraid for his life--he's afraid to "snitch". In the end, Jeremy Kahn still labels John Dowery Jr. a snitch, leaving the floor open to society to debate and sympathize about his case and the issue in general. The Atlantic, the literary review where this article was originally published, usually contains articles that address certain issues such as George Bush's presidency with strong and objective opinions.

The Pregnancy Market

     Although Ellen Goodman believes that the use of surrogate mother is in some cases very beneficial to couples, she also says that there should be "something uncomfortable about a free market approach to baby-making." This is because she believes the rich are taking advantage of the monetary needs of the poor. Goodman's appeal to the audience (pathos) is that we are essentially crossing ethical boundaries and overuse the surrogate process--we are distorting natural processes and making baby making into a business, a marketplace. The fact that she includes that women in Anand make $25 a month crushing glass, and are forced to endure surrogacy makes the projected audience feel uneasy about the process. 

     Something that make's Goodman's argument particularly effective is that she takes the argument from a more casual perspective and also acknowledges why surrogate mothers could be a good thing. If she instead rambled on about how much she despised the process, the audience of the article would not be as open to what she had to say. She points out what is going on, and suggests why this may be problematic. 

     Something that really struck me in this article was when she included the part about women from Anand. When you think of it in the sense that these mothers from Anand rely on having somebody else's child to make a living--you become really sympathetic. I therefore went from being indifferent to the article to really being disturbed by the issue.

SWA #4

Through her excerpt “On The Preservation Of A Good Temper In A Housekeeper”, Catherine Beecher aims to define and put emphasis on the duties and importance of a good “housekeeper” in the American household. For Beecher, a housekeeper is a woman that plans, controls, and performs common household duties as well as tasks such as raising the children, as well as enforces obedience and good behavior. Although most women in the middle class were housekeepers, Beecher seeks to define and encourage proper behavior and mannerisms of such women. An “equable and cheerful temper” in such women is crucial because the feeling manifests itself in the children and husband, and duties are performed in a more thorough manner. Beecher claims that “a sorrowful, a discontented, or an angry, countenance, produces a silent, sympathetic influence, imparting a somber shade to the mind…” (249).

Beecher makes a list of considerations to prepare women to deal with daily “crosses.” The first consideration is that a woman should make her mind to “regard her duties as dignified, important, and difficult” (250). A woman must also prepare her arranged duties so that she will be ready to meet difficulty with “a cheerful and quiet spirit” (251). Next, a woman needs to formulate her plans in way that meets the needs and character of those around her; particularly her husband and children. Finally, a family needs to live by a mother’s example. More specifically, a woman must never lash out in temper; she must do resolve everything with a calm, cool sense so that the children live in a sense of calm and follow the mother’s example.

It is difficult to connect the themes and assumptions of this excerpt to all women in 19^th century society because this article is clearly aiming at the middle class, white woman. Beecher writes this article assuming that all women are “stay at home moms” and have the time to really rationalize the sciences and theories presented. To provide an example, a woman of the upper class might hire a “housekeeper” and “nanny” to resolve all the duties involved in taking care of the home and family. In contrast, a lower class woman may not have the time to care for her own children or make meals consistently. In addition, the author fails to explore more strict tactics in raising children where mothers are stern and demanding of their children. Beecher has a very specific outlook on the role of women in society, and seems to ignore alternate possibilities.

Catherine Beecher; her background

Although Beecher's views on the roles of women in society are biased and sexist, it is also important to acknowledge the time period in which she lived. In the mid 1800's, women were becoming increasingly involved in societal positions other than that of a housekeeper. Beecher did not degrade the position of women in society, yet asserted that their nature made them better housekeepers and teachers. Although she openly did not want women to be involved in the evils of politics, her views were unique and gave women their own position that stressed their importance in the household.

I am my brother's keeper.

Ellie Wiesel isn’t just a Professor, a Nobel Laureate, an author of 57 books, and a Holocaust survivor of three concentration camps. He is a man with a cause; or in his view, he is “his brother’s keeper” (42). Through his answers to Richard D. Heffner’s questions, Wiesel makes the point that we see the evil actions and the suffering of others—yet we do not act on it. One day our attention is focused on one apartheid, and then the media switches the interest to another. Yet we simply watch and do nothing (43). Wiesel explains, “if we ignore suffering, we become accomplices, as so many did during the Holocaust” (49). Although Wiesel acknowledges that one person cannot change everything, his main point in this dialogue is that the first step humanity must take to change the world is simply to listen. The author makes this very clear through his analysis of the story of Cain and Abel, as well as through his own actions.

The traditional biblical analysis of the story of Cain and Abel usually puts an emphasis on the fact that jealousy played a large role in the murder. God refused Cain’s offering (and therefore his marriage), and Cain slew his brother in a fit of jealousy. Wiesel instead takes the story from a more human perspective and says “in the Bible it’s said, ‘And Cain spoke to Abel. And we don’t even know if Abel listened…the first act, really, among brothers, was a lack of communication” (44). Although it is unclear what Cain’s motives were for killing his brother, Wiesel makes the point that clear communication could have changed things. The author then goes on to say that he believes in clear communication—in respectful, sincere, conversation. Only good will come of it; and even if you cannot suffer for another, you can be there for them.

When asked whether he is “his brother’s keeper,” Wiesel recalls that “there were times when I needed people, and they were not there” (45). Even to a homeless man who has his hand outreached Wiesel cannot deny a dollar, despite the fact that the dollar may be used to purchase alcohol. The author makes the point that all the newspapers and magazines in America in 1945 showed pictures of the Holocaust, yet nobody took action. The author, who lived through this unspeakable tragedy, makes himself the advocate of those who suffer—of those whose voices are not heard. Although there are monetary and political boundaries to what we can do, Wiesel maintains that the most important thing is to not be ignorant—to acknowledge the horror that goes on in the world and make it a high priority to do something about it. This is what he asks of his students, and this is what he asks of the readers. “‘We can therefore we must.’ There is so much forgetfulness, so much indifference today, that we must fight it. We must for the sake of our own future” (45).

In my view, Ellie Wiesel makes an excellent insight about humanity and existence. We are so involved with our own lives that we choose to ignore what goes on around the world. It is very evident to me that I cannot solve Haiti’s political and economic problems, nor can I find a cure for the AIDS epidemic in Africa. But what makes us human is to pay attention—to be open-minded and do what we are capable of doing. For what difference does it make that I can’t afford name brand clothing when people cannot afford food to nourish themselves? We must do what we can.

Technology use in my family

       The use of technology is very common in my family. My father, a self taught computer programmer, is (in my opinion) a computer genius. Although his dealings with the computer are more numerical and technical, he is closely involved with the latest technology. He has several email accounts that he checks actively, he "skypes" his customers, and he knows more computer languages than I know sports. My mom recently got an Ipad 2 and is loving it. My little brother is also obsessed with technology--he plays several hours of video games each day and he interacts with his friends on Google Buzz. My grandfather, who has limited eyesight and hearing, has a more difficult time using technology. His computer use is usually limited to checking several Russian news websites, checking his email, and using skype. Technology is very important to me as well.
       I keep in touch with all of my friends via Facebook and text message, and I use my computer to take notes in class. My music library, which is made up of over 34 GB of songs, is crucial to my every day use. It is amazing to see how much technology really affects our lives--it would be a tragedy if the internet were never invented!

Hooked (SWA #2)

Matt Richtel takes an interesting perspective on the life of Thomas Campbell, a software developer who depends on technology for his job, communication, finances, and personal enjoyment. By taking a step by step analysis of “Mr. Campbell’s” life, Richtel effectively makes the argument that technology is invading our lives. Not only do we spend too much time on a computer, smart phone, or game system, but the use of such devices is taking away our ability to concentrate on everyday tasks, and we effectively lose our ability to multi-task. The author’s argument is particularly effective because he doesn’t make empty assertions—all of his claims are backed up by the behavior of Mr. Campbell. In addition, he includes a section detailing the possible positive effects of the transformation of our brains.

In Nicholas Carr’s article “Is Google Making Us Stupid,” Carr makes the point that “we can expect as well that the circuits woven by our use of the Net will be different from those woven by reading of books and other printed works” (25), and certainly characterizes this route as negative. Richtel similarly connects the use of technology to the human brain by pointing out technology provides a mental stimulation, “…excitement—a dopamine squirt—that researchers say can be addictive. In its absence, people feel bored” (15). Whether we are addicted to technological stimulation or not, leading researchers like Nora Volkow say that “the technology is rewiring our brains” (15). Richtel does an excellent job proving this statement through his analysis of Mr. Campbell’s life. For one, Campbell is unable to be separated from his electronic devices. It bothers him that taking the subway will temporarily restrict his connectivity to the outside world. When being monitored by RescueTime in a two and a half hour stretch, he switched rapidly between email and several other programs without even realizing it. An obvious attachment to electronics and subconscious computer activities are clear indications that Cambell’s has become “rewired” over time.

The connections that Richtel makes with “the rewiring of our brains” and Thomas Campbell’s family shows clear deterioration of what we believe family life to be. When Campbell finally pushes himself away from the computer to spend time with his children, he still seeks technological stimulation. The author illustrates Campbell sitting at the television with his son playing a video game, while his second grader looks on. In addition, his children are also addicted to electronic devices—Lily has an iPod Touch, a portable DVD player, and her own laptop, and Connor’s grades have progressively gotten worse due to his addictions to social networking and web browsing. The problem is so serious that the family now sits together at the dinner table for “study time” just to make sure the kids study.

The author also analyzes “the myth of multitasking” in his writing. He makes an interesting analogy of the brain to a control tower, and senses like sight and sound constantly “bombarding the control tower when they are stimulated” (18). Although some people can handle such “bombardment”, Richtel says that preliminary research shows that this is less than 3 percent of the population. Campbell often finds himself multitasking, however he says that it can pose problems. On one such occasion, Campbell was so bombarded by an “electronic flood” of programs on two computer screens that he missed a $1.3 million business deal email, only finding it a whole 12 days later. Personally, I am unable to multi-task. It often takes some effort to force myself to study—anything from background noise, the wrong music, or uncomfortable room temperature can deter my studies. The only time I can really multi-task effectively is when texting and watching a movie, and what kind of intellectual stimulation does that give me?

Get Real...

       Throughout the article "Get Smarter", Jamais Cascio entertains the notion of a society of augmented intelligence. He differs from most writers who philosophize about the future in that he has a very optimistic and creative outlook in the evolution of homo sapiens. Most, like Nicholas Carr, say that young minds are becoming tainted by superfluous forms of technology that change their minds for worst--attention spans are fleeting, and   the understanding of deeper texts is becoming unnecessary. Cascio rejects such claims by suggesting that although our brains are changing--they are morphing to embody a new type of intelligence he calls "fluid intelligence" (34). Our brains are instead becoming more able to "find meaning in confusion and to solve new problems, independent of acquired knowledge"; our access to the "sea of media" and intelligent machines requires us to think differently.
       Although Cascio makes some great points through his vivid musings of the future of human intelligence, he also fails to stress where humans can go wrong. It is a fact that we are making leaps and bounds in technological discoveries almost every day, however; there are hundreds of other factors that limit our progress as a civilization. War, disease, ignorance, money. It would be naiive to say that in 2030 people "will look back aghast at how ridiculously unsubtle the political and cultural disputes of our present were..." (39). 70 years ago, a disaster coined as the "Holocaust" occurred in central Europe--yet it seems people are still being killed in masses due to religious and ethnic hatred. I believe intellectual development should instead be feared...who knows what kind of twisted ideas super brains of the future will come up with?
       The fact that the author endorses the use of drugs for intelligent use is also ironic. My father always told me: "Peter, there's no such thing as a free lunch in this world". In the case of drugs--you are what you put into your body. I don't believe there's an easy solution to better productivity, and in this case, staying up for over 32 hours. Such added performance can only be temporary--our bodies need sleep to process information and to stay healthy. In the long term, drug users will probably suffer from a loss of memory and information retention, and perhaps even develop more complex psychological problems.

In Class Response 8/23/11

     Today's reading assignment addressed topics that most people rarely think about; especially the article by Nicholas Carr titled "Is Google Making Us Stupid?". In the midst of the recent technological revolution, Carr entertains the negative effects that the internet might have on our reading and writing abilities. Using historical evidence, he states that reading and writing are unnatural things to humans. He says, "(reading) is not an instinctive skill for human beings. It's not etched in our genes the way speech is" (Carr 25). He then goes on to assert that because our new style of reading is focused on efficiency and speed, it is making people non-attentive and in a way, less intelligent.
     This article made me think about my own habits. College students spend so much time texting and jumping from web page to web page that it must have definitive negative effects on our ability to process information and make thorough arguments. Although it gives us an aptitude for more efficient research, it also must take away from patience (which they say is a virtue). Although I do not believe new technology will lower the intelligence of our generation, it will definitely transform the way we think and make us that much different from previous generations.

My Writing Experiences: The Good and the Bad

Throughout my many years in school, it has always been a requirement to create and submit written works of various types. In High School, the curriculum focused particularly on the development of students’ essay writing skills, as well as their ability to conduct research and document genuine sources accordingly. I always enjoyed and excelled in writing narratives and other creative works, but the same could not always be said for long academic papers. My greatest writing experience occurred when writing poetry and short newspaper articles, and my worst occurred while writing my senior exhibition research paper.

Before the 11^th grade I had always despised English class and all of its components. I always seemed to have intensely nit-picky teachers that enforced the use of proper English, and English class usually entailed studying extensive lists of vocabulary words as well as reading an array of banal literature. But junior year I had a teacher that was extremely passionate for the subject—and soon after, extended her love for literature and poetry to me. During her class, I discovered that I had an aptitude for writing poetry—particularly free verse. From then on I started writing poems in my free time, often channeling my negative emotions into them. It has been a common theme in my life that I have grown to love academic subjects only through the influence of great teachers; teachers that have a passion for the subject, care for the students and their academic progress, and teach the subject in an active and interesting manner. Taking 11^th grade English was my most positive writing experience because I had a very inspirational teacher and discovered a love for poetry.

During my senior year in high school I decided to undertake a very serious subject for my senior exhibition project. It required not only months of painstaking scientific research, but also a physical implementation of an experiment. The topic I had chosen was Biochar, a new development in the field of alternative agriculture and science as a whole. The project was especially problematic because there was very little research available to back up my paper, and the scale of the experiment was essentially too large for any person to conduct on their own. Although in the end I did well on both the product and paper, the process was long and problematic—I lost nights of sleep trying to salvage my experiment and new problems would consistently surface. Although my research project was definitely my worst writing experience, it gave me valuable research skills in preparation for college, and I am ultimately proud that I was able to achieve my goals for the project.

Academic writing was never really my forte, yet I was well prepared to write long analytical essays in college. The ability to write will also prove to be essential in the real world—whether it be to compose write-ups, reports, proposals, or even emails. Therefore, a good English grounding is important, and any good English teacher will tell you that a good argument requires a good thesis and sufficient evidence to back it up.